Post by Roy Vezina on Oct 27, 2024 22:32:58 GMT
The scene opens inside a dimly lit janitor’s closet deep in the bowels of the building. The only light comes from a small flashlight taped awkwardly to the top of an old walkie-talkie. Harv Norris sits on an overturned mop bucket, his Canadian flag socks peeking out beneath his makeshift “spy” gear—essentially just his usual Punch Line attire with a black bandana tied around his head. Harv holds the walkie-talkie up to his mouth, glancing at a poorly drawn crayon map taped to the wall.
Harv Norris: (in a thick Newfoundland accent, whispering dramatically) “A’right, Agent Puck, yer in position, lad? Time ta make history!”
Cut to Puck, the 4’4” mini wrestler disguised as a dirty laundry cart. He’s hunched under a pile of sweaty jerseys, towels, and socks, with two tiny eyeholes cut in one of the towels so he can peek out. His face, partially visible through the mask, shows nothing but annoyance.
Puck: (deadpan, through his own walkie-talkie) “History? What the hell are we doin’ again, Harv?”
Harv Norris: (in full storytelling mode) “We’re pullin’ an Indiana Jones, mate! Y’ever see the one with the golden skull? Same concept!”
Puck: (skeptical) “Pretty sure that wasn’t a fake golden sugar skull, Harv. And didn’t that movie suck?”
Harv Norris: (ignoring him) “Doesn’t matter! This here’s about honor, glory, and outsmartin’ that dang robot NEXUS! We’re here ta snag that skull and get one up on him!”
Puck: (sighing) “Still don’t get why we’re stealin’ it.”
Harv Norris: “It’s psychological warfare, see? NEXUS won the Golden Sugar Skull, and now we’re takin’ it—just like how Indy took that idol! It’s a symbol o’ power! It shows we can get in his head!”
Puck: (sarcastically) “Yeah, except Indy wasn’t messin’ with a psycho AI that crushes heads like soda cans.”
Harv, clearly feeling like the master strategist, nods as he peers at the poorly drawn crayon map taped to the wall.
Harv Norris: (serious tone) “Listen, Puck, just focus. Yer blendin’ in like laundry, stayin’ silent, and movin’ like a ghost.”
The camera cuts to Puck rolling quietly down the hallway in his laundry cart disguise, trying his best to look inconspicuous. He spots NEXUS’ locker room door slightly ajar up ahead. Puck takes a deep breath.
Puck: (into the walkie-talkie) “I’m at the door, Harv. What now?”
Harv adjusts his bandana, his eyes wide with excitement.
Harv Norris: (whispering) “Ease it open with yer wheels, lad. Just like ol’ Indy—smooth an’ steady.”
Puck nudges the door open, rolls inside, and peeks through his towel eyeholes. The locker room is empty, save for the Golden Sugar Skull sitting on a bench. Puck lets out an exasperated sigh. He slowly edges the cart closer to the bench, doing his best to stay quiet. As he reaches the Golden Sugar Skull, he reaches a tiny hand out from under the towels and grips the skull carefully.
Puck: (into the walkie-talkie, annoyed) “Okay, got it. But for the record, this is stupid.”
Harv Norris: (proudly) “Nothin’ stupid ‘bout it! Just remember the mission—”
Puck: “Oh yeah, stealin’ some tacky trophy that a robot won.”
Harv Norris: (with mock exasperation) “Tacky? Lad, this is a symbol of—wait, quiet! What’s that sound?”
Puck, now hiding under his towels, hears the faint hum of something mechanical. He freezes.
Puck: (in a whisper) “Harv, I hear some buzzin’ in here—like robot buzzin’.”
Harv Norris: (still in spy mode) “Machines buzz, mate. Ya just gotta be the laundry in the breeze!”
Puck: “…What?!”
Just then, heavy footsteps approach, and the door creaks open. NEXUS enters, his LED eyes scanning the room. Puck stays perfectly still, holding his breath as NEXUS inspects his gear bag.
Harv Norris: (whispering into the walkie-talkie) “Hold steady, Puck. Remember, yer the laundry of justice.”
Puck: (barely containing his irritation) “Harv, that’s not even a real thing.”
NEXUS’ eyes lock onto the laundry cart, but he doesn’t seem to register it as a threat. He grabs some of his gear and leaves the locker room. As soon as the door closes, Puck lets out a long sigh of relief.
Harv Norris: (grinning in the closet) “See? What’d I tell ya? Easy as stealin’ candy from a moose!”
Puck: “That’s not a thing, Harv.”
Just as Puck is about to wheel out of the room with the Golden Sugar Skull, Harv continues to ramble on the walkie-talkie.
Harv Norris: “An’ ya know, this is just like that time Indy escaped from the Nazis with the Ark! Yer a hero, Puck!”
Puck: (sighing, exasperated) “Yeah, except there’s no Nazis, no Ark, and I’m pretty this skull is from a Halloween party store.”
Harv is too caught up in his fantasy to notice Puck’s sarcasm.
Harv Norris: “Meet me at the rendezvous point, and remember—if ya see any temple guards—”
Puck: (cutting him off) “Harv, if I see anyone, I’m throwin’ this skull at ‘em and runnin’.”
Just as Puck rolls into the hallway, he bumps into Rick Hull, who stares down at him in complete confusion.
Rick Hull: “Uh, Puck? What the hell are you doin’ in that getup?”
Puck: (flatly) “Stealin’ a skull. Don’t ask.”
Rick Hull: (raising an eyebrow) “You’re stealin’ that cheap Halloween trophy?”
Before Puck can answer, Harv’s voice crackles through the walkie-talkie.
Harv Norris: “Don’t listen to him, Puck! Yer on a mission o’ great significance! A hero’s journey!”
Puck: (muttering) “Pretty sure heroes don’t hide in laundry carts, Harv.”
The scene ends with Puck wheeling away, still clutching the Golden Sugar Skull, while Rick watches, utterly bewildered. Harv, sitting in his dark janitor’s closet, grins proudly, convinced he’s pulled off a legendary heist.
Harv Norris: (to himself) “Harv Norris, Canadian super spy… smooth as a fresh sheet o’ ice.”
Puck: (sarcastically over the walkie-talkie) “And dumb as a Zamboni with no brakes.”
The camera fades to black as Harv nods, still completely oblivious to Puck’s irritation.
Harv Norris: (in a thick Newfoundland accent, whispering dramatically) “A’right, Agent Puck, yer in position, lad? Time ta make history!”
Cut to Puck, the 4’4” mini wrestler disguised as a dirty laundry cart. He’s hunched under a pile of sweaty jerseys, towels, and socks, with two tiny eyeholes cut in one of the towels so he can peek out. His face, partially visible through the mask, shows nothing but annoyance.
Puck: (deadpan, through his own walkie-talkie) “History? What the hell are we doin’ again, Harv?”
Harv Norris: (in full storytelling mode) “We’re pullin’ an Indiana Jones, mate! Y’ever see the one with the golden skull? Same concept!”
Puck: (skeptical) “Pretty sure that wasn’t a fake golden sugar skull, Harv. And didn’t that movie suck?”
Harv Norris: (ignoring him) “Doesn’t matter! This here’s about honor, glory, and outsmartin’ that dang robot NEXUS! We’re here ta snag that skull and get one up on him!”
Puck: (sighing) “Still don’t get why we’re stealin’ it.”
Harv Norris: “It’s psychological warfare, see? NEXUS won the Golden Sugar Skull, and now we’re takin’ it—just like how Indy took that idol! It’s a symbol o’ power! It shows we can get in his head!”
Puck: (sarcastically) “Yeah, except Indy wasn’t messin’ with a psycho AI that crushes heads like soda cans.”
Harv, clearly feeling like the master strategist, nods as he peers at the poorly drawn crayon map taped to the wall.
Harv Norris: (serious tone) “Listen, Puck, just focus. Yer blendin’ in like laundry, stayin’ silent, and movin’ like a ghost.”
The camera cuts to Puck rolling quietly down the hallway in his laundry cart disguise, trying his best to look inconspicuous. He spots NEXUS’ locker room door slightly ajar up ahead. Puck takes a deep breath.
Puck: (into the walkie-talkie) “I’m at the door, Harv. What now?”
Harv adjusts his bandana, his eyes wide with excitement.
Harv Norris: (whispering) “Ease it open with yer wheels, lad. Just like ol’ Indy—smooth an’ steady.”
Puck nudges the door open, rolls inside, and peeks through his towel eyeholes. The locker room is empty, save for the Golden Sugar Skull sitting on a bench. Puck lets out an exasperated sigh. He slowly edges the cart closer to the bench, doing his best to stay quiet. As he reaches the Golden Sugar Skull, he reaches a tiny hand out from under the towels and grips the skull carefully.
Puck: (into the walkie-talkie, annoyed) “Okay, got it. But for the record, this is stupid.”
Harv Norris: (proudly) “Nothin’ stupid ‘bout it! Just remember the mission—”
Puck: “Oh yeah, stealin’ some tacky trophy that a robot won.”
Harv Norris: (with mock exasperation) “Tacky? Lad, this is a symbol of—wait, quiet! What’s that sound?”
Puck, now hiding under his towels, hears the faint hum of something mechanical. He freezes.
Puck: (in a whisper) “Harv, I hear some buzzin’ in here—like robot buzzin’.”
Harv Norris: (still in spy mode) “Machines buzz, mate. Ya just gotta be the laundry in the breeze!”
Puck: “…What?!”
Just then, heavy footsteps approach, and the door creaks open. NEXUS enters, his LED eyes scanning the room. Puck stays perfectly still, holding his breath as NEXUS inspects his gear bag.
Harv Norris: (whispering into the walkie-talkie) “Hold steady, Puck. Remember, yer the laundry of justice.”
Puck: (barely containing his irritation) “Harv, that’s not even a real thing.”
NEXUS’ eyes lock onto the laundry cart, but he doesn’t seem to register it as a threat. He grabs some of his gear and leaves the locker room. As soon as the door closes, Puck lets out a long sigh of relief.
Harv Norris: (grinning in the closet) “See? What’d I tell ya? Easy as stealin’ candy from a moose!”
Puck: “That’s not a thing, Harv.”
Just as Puck is about to wheel out of the room with the Golden Sugar Skull, Harv continues to ramble on the walkie-talkie.
Harv Norris: “An’ ya know, this is just like that time Indy escaped from the Nazis with the Ark! Yer a hero, Puck!”
Puck: (sighing, exasperated) “Yeah, except there’s no Nazis, no Ark, and I’m pretty this skull is from a Halloween party store.”
Harv is too caught up in his fantasy to notice Puck’s sarcasm.
Harv Norris: “Meet me at the rendezvous point, and remember—if ya see any temple guards—”
Puck: (cutting him off) “Harv, if I see anyone, I’m throwin’ this skull at ‘em and runnin’.”
Just as Puck rolls into the hallway, he bumps into Rick Hull, who stares down at him in complete confusion.
Rick Hull: “Uh, Puck? What the hell are you doin’ in that getup?”
Puck: (flatly) “Stealin’ a skull. Don’t ask.”
Rick Hull: (raising an eyebrow) “You’re stealin’ that cheap Halloween trophy?”
Before Puck can answer, Harv’s voice crackles through the walkie-talkie.
Harv Norris: “Don’t listen to him, Puck! Yer on a mission o’ great significance! A hero’s journey!”
Puck: (muttering) “Pretty sure heroes don’t hide in laundry carts, Harv.”
The scene ends with Puck wheeling away, still clutching the Golden Sugar Skull, while Rick watches, utterly bewildered. Harv, sitting in his dark janitor’s closet, grins proudly, convinced he’s pulled off a legendary heist.
Harv Norris: (to himself) “Harv Norris, Canadian super spy… smooth as a fresh sheet o’ ice.”
Puck: (sarcastically over the walkie-talkie) “And dumb as a Zamboni with no brakes.”
The camera fades to black as Harv nods, still completely oblivious to Puck’s irritation.