10/27/2024 - A Nightmare on Pollo Road

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SANGRE
Fresh Egg

Posts: 42

10/27/2024 - A Nightmare on Pollo Road Oct 27, 2024 3:48:32 GMT

Post by SANGRE on Oct 27, 2024 3:48:32 GMT

♫'Cause this is thriller, thriller night!♫

We open to a slow motion video package of various moments in 2024 set to an abridged version of “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. As the music crescendos, a chilling voice narrates various moments leading to now:

NARRATION
And now begins the fight of the fowl.
Come one… come all.

We flash through clips of the participants of tonight’s Día de los Muertos Match: The Punch Line, Devlin Masters, Orville Newton, and NEXUS.

NARRATION
The midnight reckoning nears
For those who hear death’s haunting call.

Kalidah lifts Roy Vezina with the mandible claw and drops him on his back at GOLDEN ROAD.

NARRATION
Come now the makings of man, mere-mortal, or ghoul.
Stand in the blood and gruel.

SANGRE bulldozes Lynx’s head with his knee and follows it with a Delfin Clutch pin at DANGEROUS ROAD.

NARRATION
Many will fall in their journey for devilish delight.
The question is: will you?

Rick Hull nails Crazy Boy with a Super Gordie, and Harv Norris subsequently dog piles on for a 1-2-3 pin at SUMMER CHICKEN.

♫80s guitar riff♫

The guitar continues as the bloody words “NIGHTMARE ON” appear on a black background following a slashing sound effect. The guitar riffs once more as the words “POLLO ROAD” joins the other text, this time in a metallic-looking font.

NARRATION
From the legendary Massey Hall in Toronto, Canada… this is A NIGHTMARE ON POLLO ROAD!

DUSTY STRAUSS
Happy Halloween and Happy Day of the Dead, Dusty Strauss here and beside me is Brian Shelzi, the King of the Anti-Deathmatch.

BRIAN SHELZI
Haven’t heard that one in a while. You know if you’re still sucking up, you already got the job.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Amusing, Brian. Well folks, we are seconds away from action. Ambush is in the ring, and we are all on the edge of our seats awaiting the arrival of their mystery opponents.

Red Tiger III (RT3) and Máscara de Tigre del Negro’s (Máscara) pre-match stretch is interrupted by:

♫OHHHHHH CAAAAANADA!♫

DUSTY STRAUSS
Woah! It would seem that The Punch Line is doing double duty tonight!

BRIAN SHELZI
Wait just a second there, Dust. I think thats…

Chuckles the Clown, wearing a red and white hockey jersey and Harv Norris’ tights, takes a couple steps away from the curtain before waving someone out.

Another clown in similar gear trips through the curtain and smacks his head on the ground violently. Chuckles shakes his head as he drags his cigarette.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Not quite the tag team we were expecting, and first time appearance here in Pollo Road for Chuckles the Clown’s old tag partner, Klutz.

BRIAN SHELZI
If you follow the New York City deathmatch scene, you’ll know that Klutz is currently the Lego Deathmatch champion down there. The old-timer is making quite the resurgence, but he’s going to be set back after that fall.

After helping Klutz to his feet, the two clowns head over to Mason Marvelle. Chuckles hands him what appears to be an index card and encourages him to read it.

MASON MARVELLE
Introducing the mystery opponents introducing – THE LUNCH LINE!

Klutz poses while his tag partner harasses Mason Marvelle and snatches the card back from Marvelle. He briefly reads it before responding with: “PUNCH! It’s supposed to say PUNCH!”

Klutz offers to take the lead for their team while Sunfire, RT3, and Máscara briefly convene and select RT3 to start.

The bell rings and Klutz immediately charges RT3 with his pudgy brute strength. The charge goes nowhere as RT3 uses his cat-like reflexes to roll away. He teases Klutz by wagging his finger to say “nice try”, but this only angers the air-headed clown who charges once again. Another unsuccessful attempt leads to a…

HURRICARANA PIN!... But Klutz immediately escapes.

RT3 preys on Klutz from behind as he rises to his feet. RT3 hooks in both arms with hopes of landing a Tiger Suplex and ending this match early, but Klutz uses his weight to back him up into his team’s corner. The Lunch Line is able to make a relief tag which allows Chuckles to legally clobber the cornered RT3. Chuckles enters, and the two clowns take turns throwing punches. Sunfire and Máscara argue with Tubby Thomas, who is having trouble managing their complaints and regulating the match, which allows their opponents to double team on RT3.

Within a few seconds, Tubby comes rushing over to send the illegal clown out of the ring and Klutz complies. The referee also slaps on a pair of gloves since Klutz’s earlier fall out of the curtains appears to have busted him open.

Chuckles leaves RT3 lying in the corner to talk smack to Sunfire on the apron. With a hoarse voice he asks, “You want a piece of me, honey?” Before Klutz can warn his partner, RT3 is on his feet and has pulled the hockey jersey over Chuckles head.

RIGHT KICK!

LEFT KICK!

SPINNING TOE KICK!

The combo leaves Chuckles keeled over and gasping for air. RT3 leaps into the air while Chuckles struggles to untangle the jersey!

TORNADO DDT!

Using whatever juice is left in the tank, RT3 heads to the top turnbuckle. He checks over his shoulder one last time for the downed Chuckles, meanwhile Klutz is shouting at his seemingly unconscious partner to “GET UP!”

RT3 leaps backwards and –

CHUCKLES ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!

RT3’s body crashes right on target.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Perfect example of risk versus reward, and we just got front row seats to the risk!

BRIAN SHELZI
Both wrestlers are down, but we may be looking at a double hot tag situation.

Chuckles and RT3 slowly crawl towards their respective corners and the hype of the crowd gets increasingly palpable as they get closer to a tag. Chuckles makes the tag first to Klutz just as The Tiger Prince strategically rolls out.

Máscara hops over the top rope and immediately catches Klutz with a running dropkick. Klutz only takes a moment to recover back to his feet, but the fresh fighter attacks again with a…

SPINNING WHEEL KICK SENDING KLUTZ ON HIS BACK.

Máscara leaps into the air above Klutz and lands a harsh:

DOUBLE STOMP TO THE CHEST!

Máscara makes the cover and the crowd counts with Tubby…

1…

…

2…NO!

Máscara manages to lift a groggy Klutz to his feet. Once stable enough, the luchadore rebounds off the ropes for an enziguri, but the clown is just conscious enough to catch Máscara’s feet and lock him in a Boston Crab. Klutz’s heavy-set body is crushing Máscara’s back with each second, but his hold is weakening.

BRIAN SHELZI
I can probably say with 100% certainty that I’ve never seen these clowns use a submission.

DUSTY STRAUSS
For a while the match wasn’t in their favor, and sometimes you just gotta seek answers outside your comfort zone.

Tubby is on the ground next to Máscara, but he’s not seeing any signs of giving up just yet. Despite how painful it is to contort in a Boston Crab, Máscara begins to twist his body sharply and the effort is paying off because Klutz is losing his anchored footing. Finally, Máscara is able to elevate his crunched body and tuck out of the hold, while also using Klutz’s hold to fling the clown face-first into the middle turnbuckle of a neutral corner.

Despite escaping, the pain in his back still lingers as Máscara writhes around on the mat. In the opposite corner, RT3 is recovered from the missed moonsault and joins Sunfire in cheering Máscara on.

DUSTY STRAUSS
And Máscara is just short of reach and… wait! There’s a tag!

But it’s not the one you think - Chuckles suspiciously sprung from the outside with good timing and was able to snag a tag from Klutz. He rushes into the ring and halts a crawling Máscara with a…

SENTON! AND CHUCKLES COVERS!

1…

….

Máscara kicks out with some energy.

BRIAN SHELZI
Máscara has gotta be made of steel.

DUSTY STRAUSS
No kidding, Brian. And after all of that, he’s still able to kick out before the two!

The clown taunts the remaining Ambush members by stepping on Máscara’s back and making cry baby faces. Chuckles rolls with the momentum and brings a broken Máscara to his feet and whips him to the ropes.

Meanwhile, Sunfire has appeared near the feet of Klutz who is getting to his feet on the apron. She grabs ahold of his left foot with the intent to keep him locked in place.

Tubby’s eyes are on the action on the other side of the ring where Máscara rebounds off the rope.

KLUTZ LARIAT!

DUCKED!

Máscara ducks past Chuckles’ lariat and launches himself over the top rope near Sunfire and Klutz…

TIGRE CUTTER TO THE OUTSIDE!

Sunfire nearly avoids becoming tangled in the impact. Chuckles is too shocked to notice the new legal man, RT3, now standing behind him! RT3 hooks Chuckles arms behind his back with ease, but he’s struggling to lift the heavy clown.

TIGER SUPLEX—TOO HEAVY!

One more try…

TIGER SUPLEX—STILL TOO HEAVY!

Chuckles leans back this time, forcing RT3 to roll backwards to avoid being squashed. RT3 rides through the roll on Chuckles’ back until they both make it to their feet. Chuckles’ arms are still hooked in and RT3 uses the momentum to lift…

TIGER SUPLEX WITH AN IMPRESSIVE BRIDGE!

Tubby checks both sets of shoulders and starts the count.

1…

…

2…

…

…3!

RT3 pushes off the deadweight and sits up in the ring like the survivor in a horror movie who is just now experiencing a moment of peace. Sunfire slings Máscara’s arm over her shoulder and helps him into the ring to celebrate with his partner.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Impressive win for Ambush against two opponents clearly out of their weight class.

BRIAN SHELZI
Looks like these two clowns will be heading to the back of The ‘Lunch’ Line.

...

Last Edit: Oct 27, 2024 5:20:33 GMT by SANGRE

SANGRE
Fresh Egg

Posts: 42

10/27/2024 - A Nightmare on Pollo Road Oct 27, 2024 3:58:20 GMT

Post by SANGRE on Oct 27, 2024 3:58:20 GMT

“Si Senor” by Control Machete plays to fanfare as Ultimo Pollo IV comes out with vampire hunter themed attire. He poses down the walkway to a loud reaction from the crowd before meeting the 5ft, 8in, 175 pounds Steelhead in the ring. The two exchange a respectful handshake and well wishes.

DUSTY STRAUSS
In just a few moments, one of the top recent graduates of the Pollo Dojo will be making his singles debut. We saw a glimpse of Steelhead’s abilities during the two out of three falls match involving all recent graduates of the dojo. In that match he scored a pin against Lighthouse Jack and Pinguino.

BRIAN SHELZI
Hard to tell his skill level just yet. The true test of skills comes in moments like these against a well-seasoned competitor like Ultimo Pollo IV.

DUSTY STAUSS
Fair point, Bry. [Bell Rings] And that’s the sound of the bell and the two luchadores have immediately locked up in the middle of the ring.

Ultimo and Steelhead cycle through various lock-up positions which causes each competitor to bend against their will or to fight from a compromised, near-pinfall position. After about a minute of showcasing their technical prowess, Steelhead gets control from behind Ultimo. But this advantage doesn’t last long because Ultimo swings behind Steelhead and lifts…

GERMAN SUPLEX!

Steelhead lands square on his back and momentum of the flip leaves his leg partially hanging off the bottom rope.

BRIAN SHELZI
JEEZ! Steelhead was just inches away from something scary.

Ultimo lifts Steelhead to his feet and whips him to the ropes. The Pollo leaps over Steelhead on the rebound, and then ducks him on the return to wear down his stamina. But the Dojo graduate has the foresight to hold onto the ropes causing Ultimo to dropkick thin air. Steelhead runs at a prone Ultimo, grabs his legs and throws his momentum into a roll over Ultimo’s body, length-wise, until he transitions to his feet with Ultimo hanging over his shoulder. This is looking like a…

REVERSE NECKBREAKER!

ULTIMO STOPS THE MOVE IN MOTION!

Ultimo lands a few solid elbows to the back of Steelhead’s skull which causes the graduate to lean forward and concede control. With Steelhead’s head placed conveniently between Ultimo’s legs, he exploits the advantageous set up positioning for a powerbomb.

THE POLLO FLIPS STEELHEAD ONTO HIS SHOULDER!

RUNS…

RUNNING POWERBOMB–NO!

DUSTY STRAUSS
HURRICARANA ON ULTIMO!

Both men are on one knee tending to the pain in their backs, but they take a moment to appreciate each other’s efforts so far. The crowd shares their approval for the spirited back-and-forth by clapping. Steelhead rebounds off the ropes to signal the return to action and Ultimo sidesteps him. Steelhead seeks the element of surprise by throwing himself at Ultimo with a running crossbody, but the veteran Pollo catches him and drops him on a knee.

BACKBREAKER!

Ultimo plunges himself over the top rope and onto the apron only to launch himself back into the ring with a…

SLINGSHOT SENTON FOLLOWED BY A PIN!

1…

…

2…

Steelhead’s shoulder shoots right up. The guest referee immediately acknowledges the kick out with a keen eye.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Guest referee for this match is David Whistlethorn. UK-born but Toronto-raised, and loved. Whistlethorn wrestled for twenty years before hanging up the boots to devote his life to the life of a referee. David’s well-known for his strict regulation of pinning rules, in particular the rule requiring both shoulders to be flat on the mat during the entire-length of the pinfall attempt.

BRIAN SHELZI
Shouldn’t be a difficult gig since neither competitor is known for breaking any rules.

Ultimo grabs the hand that shot up, places it on the mat, and drops both knees on it. The Pollo uses Steelhead’s same arm to lift him to his feet, and then wrenches it. The graduate may be green, but he clearly knows what to do as he rolls forward, kips up. Ultimo slaps Steelheads chest with his free hand to halt Steelhead’s momentum. Ultimo attempts another strike, but Steelhead ducks and throws him with an arm drag. With Ultimo vulnerable on one knee, Steelhead attempts to…

MIDDLE-ROPE SPRINGBOARD BACKELBOW-NO!

Ultimo catches Steelhead mid-air and shoves the arm he attacked earlier behind his opponent’s own back.

BACKDROP SUPLEX ON TOP OF STEELHEAD’S ARM!

Steelhead immediately rolls out of the ring to avoid a pinfall, or further attacks, but the avoidance is futile as Ultimo soars over the top rope and…

TOPE CON HILO!

BRIAN SHELZI
Ultimo is out here almost killing himself to a victory over a Dojo graduate.

DUSTY STRAUSS
With all due respect to Ultimo Pollo IV, he doesn’t exactly have a winning record as of late. This may be him trying to get back on the right track, by any means necessary.

Both men are rolling on the ground hurt and Whistlethorn starts the count.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Ultimo is the first one up, but he’s taking a breather after going airborne.

5…

Ultimo begins the process of rolling Steelhead into the ring.

6…

Ultimo bangs Steelheads dome off of the edge of the apron.

7…

Ultimo rolls his opponent into the ring, and then hastily follows under the bottom rope. The Pollo is hyping up as he taunts with the crowd, who reciprocate the affection with cheers. Ultimo stalks the graduate as he recovers to his feet, and then he attacks!

RUNNING COCKSLAP (SHOTEI)! SPITTLE FLIES FROM STEELHEAD’S MOUTH BUT HE REMAINS STANDING.

AND ULTIMO ISN’T FINISHED!

DUSTY STRAUSS
A little greedy I’d say! He could end it right there.

BRIAN SHELZI
Go for glory, Dust!

Ultimo shoves Steelhead in between his legs, and now he is signaling for the Poultry Bomb (Straight-jacket Thunderfire Powerbomb). The move goes according to plan once Ultimo flipped Steelhead onto his shoulders, but Steelhead starts elbowing the top of the Pollo’s head. Steelhead wiggles out and turns it into…

SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB!

Whistlethorn checks Ultimo’s shoulders as he attempts to wiggle his way out, and then he starts the count!

1….

…

2…

…

DUSTY STRAUSS
What the hell?!

The crowd finishes the count, but Whistlethorn is gone! We cut to another camera angle and three hooded individuals work together to send Whistlethorn into the barrier like a battering ram. Being a local legend, the crowd is steaming with anger and showing their disdain by booing.

Oblivious to the attack on Whistlethorn, Steelhead releases the pinning hold and looks around for the referee. Instead, he comes face to face with one of the hooded attackers, who reveals his identity by yanking off the hood of his black sweatshirt.

BRIAN SHELZI
SANGRE!

SANGRE smiles; extends his hand in between Steelhead and himself. The two other hooded figures are revealed to be Devlin Masters and Pinguino–who appeared as mystery partners of SANGRE at GOLDEN ROAD.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Masters appeared to be the subject of punishment at MAX-J’s BOLD WARRIOR INVASION event on October 22nd when he faced his apparent leader and was forced to submit. I can’t help but think this had something to do with Masters' failed attempt to ensure that SANGRE walk out of the Scramble as Cruiserweight Champion at CROSSROADS.

Meanwhile, Ultimo Pollo IV is observing his tag partner, or perhaps former partner, extend alliances to everyone but him. Ultimo rises to his feet with assistance from the ropes in the corner and inserts himself between Steelhead and SANGRE. The boom mics barely capture the following audio:

ULTIMO POLLO IV
I’ve always treated you like you were family! Then you turned on us!

SANGRE’s face cycles through anger, then peace, then anger again.

SANGRE
[Motioning to Pinguino and Masters] This… is mi familia now.

The bell rings–interrupting the confrontation. Tubby Thomas and the medical team have declared that the guest referee, David Whistlethorn, is unable to continue. Mason Marvelle relays the team’s decision:

MASON MARVELLE
Due to outside interference rendering the referee incapacitated, this match has been determined to be a no-contest.

And with that, Ultimo exits the ring and is insulted when he notices that SANGRE has reissued his hand to Steelhead.

Steelhead is firing off at SANGRE now:

STEELHEAD
You just cost me the match! Why would I shake your ha–

Before he could finish, SANGRE wraps him in a pumphandle pretzel–

“PATRIMÓNIO” by VLUDO hits and Lynx, in casual attire, jumps from behind the curtain and hauls ass to the ring past Ultimo, who decides to follow. Pinguino and Masters guard the inner-circle while SANGRE wrenches the pumphandle hold to keep Steelhead subdued. Lynx shouts from outside the ring:

LYNX
What’s your problem, bendejo!?

SANGRE
You!

LYNX
Then face me mano y man! Put him down!

SANGRE shrugs, feigning confusion and then proceeds to lift Steelhead–

VARICELLA (PUMP-HANDLE HALF-NELSON DRIVER)!

SANGRE stands over Steelhead and eventually rolls him out of the ring with his feet. Lynx and Ultimo stand-by as half the medical team leaves Whistlethorn to tend to Steelhead. Lynx and Ultimo walk with the team to the back.

DUSTY STRAUSS
I have a feeling this isn’t just about SANGRE’s team losing at GOLDEN ROAD.

BRIAN SHELZI
I can see Whistlethorn from here–looks like he got his lights knocked out but he’ll be okay.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Thank goodness for that. Well–Hold on Brian, I’m sure you can hear the rumblings of the back in the ear-piece. Correct me if I’m wrong, but am I hearing rumblings of a potential suspension?

The two commentators listen in on the conversation in the ear-piece. The two begin nodding their heads in acknowledgement of the announcement.

DUSTY STRAUSS
And there’s the word, folks. Due to their attacks on our guest, and beloved David Whistlethorn, SANGRE, Devlin Masters, and Pinguino are suspended for one month…effective after the conclusion of tonight’s main event. This means that Devlin Masters’ participation in tonight's match is unaffected, but SANGRE and Pinguino will be barred from ringside. Speaking of the main event, we’re taking you backstage where the real Punch Line are preparing before the big match.

...

Last Edit: Oct 27, 2024 15:04:49 GMT by SANGRE

SANGRE
Fresh Egg

Posts: 42

10/27/2024 - A Nightmare on Pollo Road Oct 27, 2024 4:15:13 GMT

Post by SANGRE on Oct 27, 2024 4:15:13 GMT

The segment opens backstage with The Punch Line. The camera pans over to find Rick Hull dressed as a Mountie, complete with the iconic red uniform and hat. He’s standing next to Roy Vezina, who is decked out in an unmistakable outfit—a brightly colored, tasseled jacket, oversized sunglasses, and a cowboy hat, very clearly dressed like a certain wrestler from the Slim Jim commercials. Rick tilts his head as he glances over at Roy.

RICK HULL
[Raising an eyebrow] Hey, Roy, you know, you really remind me of that guy… the one who used to do those, uh, what were they called? Slim Jim commercials?

ROY VEZINA
[Striking a classic pose, puffing out his chest and adjusting his shades] Oh, yeah, you know the one! Big personality, always wearing shades like these. Real intense, you know? Snap into it and all that jazz.

RICK HULL
[Smirking as he plays along] Yeah, yeah, I know exactly who you mean, but uh… I think his name might’ve started with an ‘M’? What do you think, Harv?

Just then, Harv Norris waddles into frame, and Rick and Roy both do a double take. Harv is dressed head-to-toe in a giant cartoon beaver costume, complete with big buck teeth and an oversized tail. Rick raises a hand to his face, trying to hold back a laugh, while Roy just stares in disbelief, hands on his hips.

ROY VEZINA
[Pointing at Harv, genuinely confused] Harv, what in the actual heck is that supposed to be? Why are you a… a beaver?”

HARV NORRIS
[Speaking through the oversized beaver head, voice muffled] What do ya mean why? It’s da national animal o’ Canada, b’ys! I’m representin’! And, uh… [he leans in and whispers loudly, tapping his tail] I stuffed the tail with a few hockey pucks, you know, in case things get a little outta hand tonight.

Rick’s eyes widen, and he lets out a little snort of laughter while Roy shakes his head, trying to keep a straight face.

RICK HULL
[Shaking his head, still grinning] You’re a real piece of work, Harv. We’re supposed to be intimidating, and you’re out here dressed like a giant rodent.

ROY VEZINA
[Exasperated, rubbing his temples] Seriously, Harv, a beaver? We’re supposed to be the toughest team in Pollo Road, and you show up looking like a mascot for some Canadian kids’ show.

HARV NORRIS
[Crossing his furry arms, trying to look serious] Hey, don’t knock it till ya try it, b’y! This costume’s got some bite, just wait till I unleash these pucks!

Rick looks at Roy, barely holding it together, and then back at Harv.

RICK HULL
[Gesturing toward Roy’s outfit] Okay, but seriously, Harv, you got any idea who he’s dressed as?

HARV NORRIS
[Squinting at Roy through his beaver head, scratching his chin] Hmm, well, now that ya mention it… kinda looks like that fella from them Slim Jim ads, ya know? [leans in closer, then suddenly throws his hands up in realization] Oh yeah!

ROY VEZINA
[Instantly lights up, turning toward the camera with a huge grin, dropping into an imitation of the wrestler’s voice] OH YEAH! You know the guy! The one that’s always snapping into things!

Rick and Roy both burst out laughing, with Rick slapping Roy on the back, while Harv just nods enthusiastically in his oversized beaver costume.

RICK HULL
[Shaking his head, trying to catch his breath] You’re really going all in, huh, Roy? You really think you can pull off being… that guy?

ROY VEZINA
[Smirking, putting on the shades and adjusting his hat again] You know it, brother! It’s all about showin’ off, just like he would. I got the voice, I got the style, I got it all… OH YEAH!

HARV NORRIS
[Looking between them, still grinning under his beaver mask] Well, if we’re talkin’ about showin’ off… I think this beaver’s ready to gnaw through some competition tonight, eh?

Rick and Roy both just groan, trying not to laugh again.

ROY VEZINA
[Throwing up his hands] Alright, fine, Harv. If you’re gonna go out there and be a giant beaver, then I guess I’m gonna have to step up and be the guy who makes all the snappy decisions… OH YEAH!

The three of them laugh as the segment ends, with Harv swinging his beaver tail and Rick rolling his eyes but smiling. The Punch Line might be ridiculous, but they’re ready to take on whatever the Halloween special throws their way.

...

SANGRE
Fresh Egg

Posts: 42

10/27/2024 - A Nightmare on Pollo Road Oct 27, 2024 4:51:37 GMT

Post by SANGRE on Oct 27, 2024 4:51:37 GMT

The lights in the arena dim as the crowd buzzes in anticipation for one of the most unique and chaotic matches of the year: the Día de los Muertos match. The ring is surrounded by vivid decorations—marigolds, sugar skulls, candles—and the air is thick with the festive yet eerie energy of the Mexican holiday. Skeleton dancers, their faces painted in intricate calavera makeup, weave through the crowd, twirling and dancing around large flower displays adorned with symbols of the afterlife. Marigold petals flutter down from the rafters, casting the scene in a golden glow as the entrance music hits.

DUSTY STRAUSS
We’re back at ringside, folks, and you know what time it is! The Día de los Muertos match is about to begin, and let me tell you, there’s nothing like this on Earth. Wrestlers can score points by pinfall or submission, sending their opponents to the ofrenda—that penalty box—for one full minute. But get this, in the final three minutes, there’s no more eliminations—whoever scores the most pins or submissions during that time wins the coveted Golden Sugar Skull. It’s going to be chaos!

MASON MARVELLE
Let’s meet tonight’s competitors!

As the music shifts to a more menacing tone, out comes the first of the competitors.

MASON MARVELLE
Introducing first, representing The Punch Line, dressed as… the guy from the Slim Jim commercials—Roy Vezina!

Roy struts down the ramp, fully decked out in Macho Man gear, twirling his arms and flexing dramatically for the crowd. His larger-than-life persona is greeted with a mix of cheers and boos, but his commitment to the costume earns a few chuckles from the audience.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Look at Roy! He’s soaking it in, but don’t be fooled—The Punch Line is dangerous as ever tonight!

MASON MARVELLE
And here comes Rick Hull, dressed as a Mountie!

Rick marches down the ramp, adjusting his Mountie hat and mockingly saluting the crowd, who jeer him playfully.

MASON MARVELLE
And joining them, dressed as a beaver, it’s Harv Norris!

Harv waddles down the ramp, swinging his stuffed tail full of hockey pucks as he grins mischievously at the crowd. The audience erupts in laughter, but the boos from The Punch Line’s detractors are still loud and clear.

DUSTY STRAUSS
I don’t care how goofy Harv looks in that costume—you know he’s going to bring the pain tonight!

MASON MARVELLE
Next up, representing the Next Generation, it’s NEXUS!

The lights flicker as NEXUS steps onto the stage, no costume, just his cold, calculating demeanor. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he strides toward the ring, unphased by the spectacle around him.

MASON MARVELLE
And next we have, dressed in his cap and gown, Orville Newton!
Orville steps out, serious and focused, as the crowd cheers. He adjusts his graduation cap as he approaches the ring, his eyes locked on his opponents.

MASON MARVELLE
And last but not least, dressed as the Mad Hatter, it’s Devlin Masters!

Devlin spins and skips down the ramp, laughing maniacally as he swings his cane. The crowd gives a mix of cheers and laughs at his over-the-top antics, perfectly in line with his Mad Hatter persona.

DUSTY STRAUSS
In case you are tuning in now, Masters was permitted to wrestle in this match despite being suspended, effectively immediately, not more than thirty minutes ago. That suspension was imposed as a result of SANGRE, Masters, and Pinguino attacking our guest referee, David Whistlethorn, to send a message to Lynx.

The ring is now filled with competitors, each one ready for the chaos to come. The skeleton dancers circle the ring one last time before retreating to the ofrenda—the glass-walled penalty box decorated with candles, marigolds, and offerings for the dead—waiting to receive the wrestlers who will be banished during the match.

BRIAN SHELZI
This is gonna be wild, Dust! Pinfall and submission points, time in the penalty box, and in the final three minutes—absolute madness as everyone scrambles to get that final pin or submission for the Golden Sugar Skull!

The bell rings, and the match erupts into immediate chaos.

NEXUS, ever the calculating machine, quickly zeroes in on Rick Hull. The two lock up in the center of the ring, each man trying to gain control. Rick uses his momentum to push NEXUS back toward the ropes, but NEXUS reverses the pressure and snaps off a quick arm drag, sending Rick tumbling across the mat. Rick rolls to his feet, shaking his head in frustration.

Across the ring, Orville Newton and Devlin Masters circle each other. Devlin, in full Mad Hatter mode, laughs maniacally as he throws a wild punch at Orville, who ducks under it and counters with a dropkick to Devlin’s chest. Devlin stumbles backward, his grin only widening as he rolls out of the ring to avoid further damage.

Harv Norris, using his beaver tail loaded with hockey pucks, swings wildly at anyone who gets too close. He catches NEXUS in the ribs with a hard thwack, but NEXUS barely flinches before grabbing Harv by the waist and delivering a brutal German suplex. Harv crashes hard, but before NEXUS can follow up, Roy Vezina, always ready to protect his partners, charges in and nails NEXUS with a stiff forearm to the back of the head.

BRIAN SHELZI
Roy is looking out for his Punch Line teammates! These guys are gonna stick together as long as they can!

Roy and NEXUS brawl in the corner as the action continues elsewhere. Rick Hull catches Orville Newton with a big roundhouse kick, sending him crashing to the mat. Rick, seeing an opportunity, quickly covers Orville for the first pin attempt of the night.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
Orville Newton is headed to the ofrenda!

The skeleton parade swarms Orville, guiding him to the penalty box. He places his graduation cap on the altar, frustrated but determined. As soon as Orville is locked inside for his minute of timeout, the skeletons toss a decorated steel chair into the ring.

Back in the ring, Rick grabs the chair and swings it wildly, aiming for anyone in his path. He catches Devlin across the back, sending the Mad Hatter rolling out of the ring in pain. But before Rick can strike again, NEXUS catches him with a stiff lariat, sending him crashing to the mat. NEXUS quickly covers Rick.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
Rick Hull is sent to the ofrenda!

The skeletons cheer as Rick is led to the penalty box, where he places his Mountie hat on the altar. The parade of skeletons tosses a barbed-wire-wrapped baseball bat into the ring, raising the stakes.

BRIAN SHELZI
I'm getting tingles from my Anti-Deathmatch days, Dust! The barbed-wire bat just hit the ring!

Harv Norris, ever the opportunist, grabs the bat and swings it at NEXUS, but the AI catches Harv’s wrist and pulls him into a quick belly-to-belly suplex, sending him crashing to the mat. NEXUS doesn’t waste a moment, covering Harv for another pin attempt.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
Harv Norris is sent to the ofrenda!

Harv, frustrated, is escorted to the penalty box, where he places his beaver tail on the altar. The skeletons, gleeful, toss a kendo stick into the ring, decorated with marigold flowers.

NEXUS, now in possession of the kendo stick, stalks the remaining competitors. He swings at Devlin, who narrowly dodges and counters with a quick kick to NEXUS’s midsection. Devlin grabs the kendo stick and cracks it across NEXUS’s back, but the AI barely flinches before delivering a stiff punch to Devlin’s jaw, sending him reeling.

Meanwhile, Roy Vezina seizes his opportunity, grabbing NEXUS from behind and rolling him up for a quick pin.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
NEXUS is sent to the ofrenda!

As NEXUS is led to the penalty box, the skeletons throw another weapon into the ring—this time, a sugar skull-covered trash can. Devlin, still recovering from the earlier brawl, grabs the trash can and slams it over Orville’s head as soon as he’s released from the penalty box.
Orville stumbles, dazed, and Devlin makes the cover.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
Orville Newton is sent back to the ofrenda!

As Orville is led back to the penalty box for his second time, the skeletons toss a beautifully decorated steel chain into the ring. Devlin, loving the chaos, grabs the chain and starts swinging it wildly at Rick Hull, who has just returned from the penalty box himself.

Rick dodges the first swing and counters with a swift super kick, knocking Devlin down. Rick, determined to score a point, covers Devlin.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

MASON MARVELLE
Devlin Masters is sent to the ofrenda!

As the clock ticks down, the penalty box begins to fill up. NEXUS, Orville, Rick, Devlin, and Harv all serve their time, waiting for the moment when the final three minutes hit and chaos truly ensues.

DUSTY STRAUSS
We’re getting close to the final stretch! Once those final three minutes hit, no one’s going to the ofrenda—it’s all about racking up points!

As the final three minutes approach, the gates to the ofrenda swing open, and all the wrestlers are released. The crowd roars as the match devolves into pure mayhem. Weapons fly, bodies crash, and the skeletons dance in delight at the carnage unfolding before them.

NEXUS, freshly released from the penalty box, immediately goes after Roy Vezina, catching him with a running knee strike. Roy drops to the mat, and NEXUS covers him for a pin.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

NEXUS earns another point, but he doesn’t stop there. He turns his attention to Rick Hull, lifting him into the air and delivering a brutal powerslam. NEXUS covers Rick.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

NEXUS earns yet another point, pulling ahead in the race for the Golden Sugar Skull. But Devlin Masters, ever the wildcard, grabs the steel chain and wraps it around NEXUS’s neck, dragging him to the ground in a rear chokehold.

DUSTY STRAUSS
Devlin’s trying to choke out NEXUS! This is pure chaos!

BRIAN SHELZI
I can't keep up!

As NEXUS struggles to escape, Orville Newton sees his chance. He climbs to the top rope and launches himself off, hitting Devlin with a flying crossbody. Devlin drops the chain, and Orville quickly covers him.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

Orville scores a point, but the clock is ticking down fast. The crowd is on their feet, knowing that the final moments of the match are here.

Harv Norris, back in the ring with his beaver tail, swings it at Orville, knocking him to the ground. Harv covers Orville.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

Harv scores a point, but as he stands up, NEXUS grabs him from behind and delivers a devastating Neural Spike (Brainbuster DDT). Harv’s head bounces off the mat, and NEXUS covers him.

ONE… TWO… THREE!

The bell rings, signaling the end of the match.

MASON MARVELLE
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and the holder of the Golden Sugar Skull… NEXUS!

The skeletons swarm the ring, celebrating as they present NEXUS with the Golden Sugar Skull. The AI wrestler, emotionless as ever, accepts the trophy, standing tall as the ultimate victor in this chaotic, unforgettable Día de los Muertos match.

DUSTY STRAUSS
What a match! NEXUS dominated in the final minutes—he’s walking out of here with the Golden Sugar Skull!

As the skeletons dance around the ring and the crowd cheers, NEXUS stands tall, victorious in this festival of life and death, the Golden Sugar Skull held high above

DUSTY STRAUSS
Thanks for joining us, folks. Have a happy Halloween and a wonderful Day of the Dead!

Last Edit: Oct 27, 2024 15:18:41 GMT by SANGRE

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