Post by Kalidah on Sept 29, 2024 3:56:58 GMT
“Roy Vezina, have you ever heard the story of John Vaillant's The Tiger. It’s a fascinating tale. You see there was this poacher named Vladimir Markov, over in Russia. In 1997 he came across an Amur tiger, which had just killed its prey. Markov shot the tiger, leaving it for dead, and took part of its prey home with him.
“That in itself wouldn’t be much of a story, but it gets much better from here. You see, not only did the tiger not die from being shot, but it actually came after Markov. For days, it stalked him. It found his cabin and waited for the opportunity to strike, and when the weasel of a human being finally showed his face, the beast swooped down ripped him limb from limb, and the story became so legendary that an author from Canada heard about it and wrote a book about it!
“Roy, you fucked up. Like Markov, you took a shot at the beast to steal its trophy and you didn’t get the job done. Now the beast is coming to get you, and like Markov you’re going to pay a bigger price than you ever dreamed of.”
Standing up, Eli puts the book under his arm and walks away.
“I suppose you can take some consolation that unlike Markov, at least you know the beast is after you. Too bad you don’t have all of Siberia to hide in. Run while you can, Roy Boy. Run while you can ”
***
“And where do you three think you’re headed off to?”
Eli Buchanan opened his eyes and turned to watch the scene playing out in front of him. There stood his wife, Charlotte, standing in the doorway to her office. She was addressing the other members of Ambush, all of whom were pulling on their coats. It was clear to even him that the trio were attempting to sneak out unnoticed, but leave it to Charlie, wife and witch extraordinaire, to catch them in the act. The woman didn’t just have eyes in the back of her head, here in Hotel California she had eyes everywhere.
“Hey yo, Mami, me and the boys are just gonna go out for a bit,” Sunfire called out, “H hasn’t seen his cariño since we got back from Mexico, so Oscar and me are gonna drop him off before we go howl at the moon, if you catch my meaning.”
Eli heard “Oscar” cough. He sat up so the you Latino could see him and Eli was pleased when he saw him lower his eyes, respectively. He turned his eyes towards the other two, neither of them even blinked, but why would they? Eventually he released them from his gaze and eased back in the chair.
“Have fun you three. Kid, say hi to Lucky for me,” he called out as he rested his head back and closed his eyes, “And don’t do anything I wouldn't.”
This comment was met with a chorus of laughter from the trio. He heard them call out their thanks as they departed, slamming the door as they left. Through an open window came the sound of barking and Eli could hear three of them could be heard yelling out in response. Then came the sound of car doors slamming and a vehicle driving away.
Eli waited until the car was out of hearshot and started counting down from one hundred. He was down to sixty-eight before Charlotte finally uttered an exasperated sigh. Eli resisted the urge to open his eyes as he heard her approach. He sat there, waiting for her to speak, a huge grin on his face.
“Those three are up to something,” Charlotte finally said, standing behind his chair.
“Of course they are. Hopeful so will you and I once the children are in bed.”
Eli waited for the smack he knew usually came with a remark like that, but it never did. Instead he felt her drop onto his lap and kiss him on the cheek.
“You can bet on that, Tiger, I have you penciled into my schedule all night long, but you know that’s not what I meant.”
Eli opened his eyes and stared into his wife’s.
“I know. I hope those three remembered their masks.”
“No doubt Sunfire put them in that bag she took with her. I would give up my morning coffee to know what she had in there; something tells me that there’s no blanket and wine in there.”
“Smelled like aerosol to me.”
Charlotte’s eyebrows raised.
“Are you sure?”
“Yep, and they took a few of the Herkmen with them.”
“Yes, I know. Azalo and Nizbel by the sounds of it. I wish they had taken Ozzy with them, too. He could use a good walk. You know how he binge eats when he’s bored.”
“True, but it’s cut down on the Jehovah Witnesses who usually come knocking on our doors, and the SCP Foundation has finally stopped sending spies to keep an eye on us.”
“I suppose that is a blessing,” Charlotte sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, “We’re getting off topic though. Those three are up to something nefarious, and it makes me mad.”
“Because you’re afraid they’re going to get hurt?”
“No, because they didn’t invite me to come with them!”
This made Eli roar with laughter. Several people turned to look and, Captain, the hotel’s concierge, even stopped midway through rebuking a blank-faced underling to stare at his master for a moment, before turning back to continue berating them for their mistakes. Eli ignored all of this and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek.
“It’s only because they want to be able to show off what they did later and look to you for approval. Those three would follow me into hell without a second thought, but when they returned they would bring you the devil’s head on a silver platter just to make you smile. Face it, Charlie, those three adore you.”
With nearly no effort, Eli scooped his wife in his arms and stood up. He kissed her on the neck and whispered into her ear, “And so do I.”
With Charlotte crying out with mock anger, Eli carried his wife off to their room. All the while he wondered the same thing she had; what was Ambush up to, and how was he going to find a way to top it later?
***
“Elroy Vezina.”
Eli Buchanan’s voice echoed through the dark room as his yellow eyes glowed in the dark. He chuckles at his little insults, his smile barely visible.
“Canada’s biggest disappointment. I would make a joke you’re the second biggest disappointment to come out of our country, right behind the Toronto Maple Leafs, but I promised my wife I’d stop going after such low hanging fruit. Besides, I used all those metaphors last time and I really hate reusing material, even on a puck for brains such as yourself.”
The grin disappears from his face. Eli slowly raises from the chair where he was seated and he begins to pace.
“Elroy, I’ll be the first to admit that I underestimated you. When you threw everything at me back on Canada Day and still came out short, I expected you to go to the back of the line and wait your turn for another shot. Afterall, you were never meant to be a part of the plan. Your name wasn’t on my list. You were never part of the vision. I overlooked you, and that’s on me, but then you had to throw that substance in my eyes for a few weeks, leaving me blind for over a month. I had to listen to my wife cry, and hear my children ask alot of questions that they should never have had to ask.”
Eli’s voice grows deeper, more animalistic. He cracks his neck and rolls his shoulders back as he inches closer to the camera.
“ROY VEZINA! You took away my children’s innocence! They had to watch me suffer! More importantly, you doubt that their father could overcome anything, and that’s a belief I want them all to hold on to for as long as possible. So I need to get that back for them! You stole their innocence, so I’m going to rip it back from you and take your head with it!”
The dim lights in the room begin to flicker and Kalidah appears. With another flicker, his masked face fills the camera.
“RUN!”
“That in itself wouldn’t be much of a story, but it gets much better from here. You see, not only did the tiger not die from being shot, but it actually came after Markov. For days, it stalked him. It found his cabin and waited for the opportunity to strike, and when the weasel of a human being finally showed his face, the beast swooped down ripped him limb from limb, and the story became so legendary that an author from Canada heard about it and wrote a book about it!
“Roy, you fucked up. Like Markov, you took a shot at the beast to steal its trophy and you didn’t get the job done. Now the beast is coming to get you, and like Markov you’re going to pay a bigger price than you ever dreamed of.”
Standing up, Eli puts the book under his arm and walks away.
“I suppose you can take some consolation that unlike Markov, at least you know the beast is after you. Too bad you don’t have all of Siberia to hide in. Run while you can, Roy Boy. Run while you can ”
***
“And where do you three think you’re headed off to?”
Eli Buchanan opened his eyes and turned to watch the scene playing out in front of him. There stood his wife, Charlotte, standing in the doorway to her office. She was addressing the other members of Ambush, all of whom were pulling on their coats. It was clear to even him that the trio were attempting to sneak out unnoticed, but leave it to Charlie, wife and witch extraordinaire, to catch them in the act. The woman didn’t just have eyes in the back of her head, here in Hotel California she had eyes everywhere.
“Hey yo, Mami, me and the boys are just gonna go out for a bit,” Sunfire called out, “H hasn’t seen his cariño since we got back from Mexico, so Oscar and me are gonna drop him off before we go howl at the moon, if you catch my meaning.”
Eli heard “Oscar” cough. He sat up so the you Latino could see him and Eli was pleased when he saw him lower his eyes, respectively. He turned his eyes towards the other two, neither of them even blinked, but why would they? Eventually he released them from his gaze and eased back in the chair.
“Have fun you three. Kid, say hi to Lucky for me,” he called out as he rested his head back and closed his eyes, “And don’t do anything I wouldn't.”
This comment was met with a chorus of laughter from the trio. He heard them call out their thanks as they departed, slamming the door as they left. Through an open window came the sound of barking and Eli could hear three of them could be heard yelling out in response. Then came the sound of car doors slamming and a vehicle driving away.
Eli waited until the car was out of hearshot and started counting down from one hundred. He was down to sixty-eight before Charlotte finally uttered an exasperated sigh. Eli resisted the urge to open his eyes as he heard her approach. He sat there, waiting for her to speak, a huge grin on his face.
“Those three are up to something,” Charlotte finally said, standing behind his chair.
“Of course they are. Hopeful so will you and I once the children are in bed.”
Eli waited for the smack he knew usually came with a remark like that, but it never did. Instead he felt her drop onto his lap and kiss him on the cheek.
“You can bet on that, Tiger, I have you penciled into my schedule all night long, but you know that’s not what I meant.”
Eli opened his eyes and stared into his wife’s.
“I know. I hope those three remembered their masks.”
“No doubt Sunfire put them in that bag she took with her. I would give up my morning coffee to know what she had in there; something tells me that there’s no blanket and wine in there.”
“Smelled like aerosol to me.”
Charlotte’s eyebrows raised.
“Are you sure?”
“Yep, and they took a few of the Herkmen with them.”
“Yes, I know. Azalo and Nizbel by the sounds of it. I wish they had taken Ozzy with them, too. He could use a good walk. You know how he binge eats when he’s bored.”
“True, but it’s cut down on the Jehovah Witnesses who usually come knocking on our doors, and the SCP Foundation has finally stopped sending spies to keep an eye on us.”
“I suppose that is a blessing,” Charlotte sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, “We’re getting off topic though. Those three are up to something nefarious, and it makes me mad.”
“Because you’re afraid they’re going to get hurt?”
“No, because they didn’t invite me to come with them!”
This made Eli roar with laughter. Several people turned to look and, Captain, the hotel’s concierge, even stopped midway through rebuking a blank-faced underling to stare at his master for a moment, before turning back to continue berating them for their mistakes. Eli ignored all of this and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek.
“It’s only because they want to be able to show off what they did later and look to you for approval. Those three would follow me into hell without a second thought, but when they returned they would bring you the devil’s head on a silver platter just to make you smile. Face it, Charlie, those three adore you.”
With nearly no effort, Eli scooped his wife in his arms and stood up. He kissed her on the neck and whispered into her ear, “And so do I.”
With Charlotte crying out with mock anger, Eli carried his wife off to their room. All the while he wondered the same thing she had; what was Ambush up to, and how was he going to find a way to top it later?
***
“Elroy Vezina.”
Eli Buchanan’s voice echoed through the dark room as his yellow eyes glowed in the dark. He chuckles at his little insults, his smile barely visible.
“Canada’s biggest disappointment. I would make a joke you’re the second biggest disappointment to come out of our country, right behind the Toronto Maple Leafs, but I promised my wife I’d stop going after such low hanging fruit. Besides, I used all those metaphors last time and I really hate reusing material, even on a puck for brains such as yourself.”
The grin disappears from his face. Eli slowly raises from the chair where he was seated and he begins to pace.
“Elroy, I’ll be the first to admit that I underestimated you. When you threw everything at me back on Canada Day and still came out short, I expected you to go to the back of the line and wait your turn for another shot. Afterall, you were never meant to be a part of the plan. Your name wasn’t on my list. You were never part of the vision. I overlooked you, and that’s on me, but then you had to throw that substance in my eyes for a few weeks, leaving me blind for over a month. I had to listen to my wife cry, and hear my children ask alot of questions that they should never have had to ask.”
Eli’s voice grows deeper, more animalistic. He cracks his neck and rolls his shoulders back as he inches closer to the camera.
“ROY VEZINA! You took away my children’s innocence! They had to watch me suffer! More importantly, you doubt that their father could overcome anything, and that’s a belief I want them all to hold on to for as long as possible. So I need to get that back for them! You stole their innocence, so I’m going to rip it back from you and take your head with it!”
The dim lights in the room begin to flicker and Kalidah appears. With another flicker, his masked face fills the camera.
“RUN!”