Post by Kalidah on May 5, 2024 2:25:08 GMT
LH: Greetings once again to the Laura Heeley Report. As always, I'm your host, Laura Heeley. Before I get to my very special guest, I want to remind all my listeners that I’ll be in the Toronto area for the first annual Cosmic Conclave during the Victoria Day long weekend, from May 18th to the 20th. It's the tenth anniversary of the horror comedy, "Werewolves from the Seventh Moon of Thunder", and I’ll be hosting a Q and A with the cast and director. I really hope to see you all there. Now on to my special guest.
LH: The gentleman with me in the studio tonight is a veteran of the squared circle. It would take me nearly a full hour just to list all this man's accolades. He is a multiple time World Champion, who has wrestled on every continent, besides Antarctica. Outside the ring he's an accomplished actor, having featured roles in "The Batman Chronicles'', "Scavenger Hunt", "Tish: The Strongest Woman in the World" and "Madison Tower". He’s one of the co-founders of Buck U Productions, and the owner and proprietor of the infamous Hotel California. With no further ado, may I welcome Eli Buchanan to the podcast this evening.
EB: Thank you for having me on the show, Laura. Always a pleasure.
LH: You're very welcome, Eli. I hope you don't mind me calling your hotel "infamous"?
EB: (laughing) Not at all, Laura. As my father is fond of saying, it's better to be infamous than forgotten. Hotel California truly is such a lovely place, and it certainly has earned the reputation it's received, but enough about that. How are you?
LH: I'm well. How about yourself?
EB: Absolutely fantastic.
LH: That's great to hear. Now then, the reason for your appearance on the podcast tonight is to promote Pollo Road's event, dubbed “Revival”, in Windsor, Ontario, this coming Monday in Windsor, Ontario. Kalidah, who you are very familiar with, is teaming with The Herkmen to face off with your old rival, AJ Knight, along with Lynx and Orville Newton. Also on that card will be defences of both the PMLL Tag Team Titles and the Cruiserweight Title.
EB: Yes indeed, it's going to be an absolutely splendid event. I encourage anyone in the Windsor area to make sure not to miss it. I've been told there are still some tickets available, but they won't last long.
LH: That's good to know. Any predictions on the title matches? Pollo Road has yet to announce who The Punch Line will defend their Tag Team Titles against.
EB: I can honestly say I don't have the foggiest clue who the mystery challengers are, but I'll wager they'll be the crowd favourites for certain.
LH: You don't think the Punch Line will get any love in their backyard?
EB: (laughing) Take it from a proud Canadian, those knuckleheads are going to be less popular in Windsor than a Boston Bruins fan in Toronto.
Both of them laugh.
EB: Having said that, as much as it pains me to admit it, I do think The Punchline will retain.
LH: And what about the Cruiserweight Title Match?
EB: Both the champion, MEZA, and the challenger, Devlin Masters, are very capable competitors. It should be a good match, but MEZA will probably win.
LH: Probably?
EB: As long as he doesn't lose his head again and get himself disqualified. (chuckles)
LH: Sounds like you're throwing a bit of shade there, Eli. (laughs)
EB: All I'm saying, dear friend, is the boy is a bit of a hot head. He had his chance to fight Kalidah and he messed up. To paraphrase a line from an under-appreciated film: he has been weight, measured and absolutely found wanting. Don't get me wrong, I was a lot like him once, and I own my faults, but it doesn't matter how much of a fuss he make, Kalidah's moved on and has no interest in facing him again. MEZA needs to learn to deal with it and move on himself, otherwise this little obsession of his is going to destroy him.
LH: I would love to talk more about the situation between Kalidah and MEZA, but I really want to turn our focus towards the big six man tag team match. Again, it will be Kalidah and The Herkmen against AJ Knight, Lynx and Orville Newton. You and AJ have a storied history that goes all the way back to 2016 and he's arguably one of your greatest rivals.
EB: You left out the part about him being the one man who I've never truly best. (laughs)
LH: I wasn't going to point that fact out...
EB: (laughing) Laura, it's quite alright. You remember what I said about MEZA? That's how I feel about AJ. I hold one victory over him, which is forgotten by most people, and those who remember it attempt to make excuses on his behalf. "Oh he was injured." "He was in a bad place in his life at the time." It's funny, because when he fought me in a cage in 2017, no one was making excuses for me. No one pointed out how I had only wrestled half a dozen times since returning from what was supposed to be a career ending injury. No one cared to point out that I had hit rock bottom in my personal life: my wife had left me, my addictions were eating me alive and I was so mentally ill that within a few weeks of that match I nearly took my own life. That was all okay though, am I right? After all, I deserved all I got after what I put him through. (laughs) No, it's alright, Laura, I have no problem admitting what an absolute tit I was to him when I was his manager. What I did to force him into my employment was absolutely wrong, and if I could go back in time and undo it, I would, but perhaps that means that AJ Knight would be nothing more than a footnote on the history of this business. AJ practically had a foot out the door of Lions Road when I swooped in like a vulture to "save" his career.
LH: That’s a bold statement, Eli.
EB: Tell me if I’m lying, Laura? I’m pretty sure AJ wouldn’t if he was here. I say this without any pride, but I have been a necessary evil in the past. Pollomania wouldn’t have survived a year with out me and the Canadian Embassy Misfits; the American fans came out to see us get our comeuppance, which I suffered in spades and the Canadian fans came out in droves to cheer us. Hammerstein… (audibly chokes.) Hambone might never have become a multiple time World Champion if I hadn’t been a backstabbing friend… I’m sorry… I…
LH: (coughs) Hey, it’s alright. Let’s change the subject, slightly. You mentioned that you’ve only ever defeated AJ Knight once, but that’s not completely accurate. Kalidah has a victory over him as well. Some might call it tainted, but a win is a win.
EB: (chuckles softly) A win is a win, too true. Kalidah was a different beast back then, and so was I.
LH: Eli, what would it mean to you personally for Kalidah to get a “clean” victory over AJ. I know you consider Kalidah to be a different person than yourself, you and I have had this conversation before and we could talk an hour just on that, but a victory for Kalidah had to be considered a victory for you as well.
EB: (laughs) Laura, a “clean” victory over AJ would be marvelous, but if you think Kalidah and I are only focused on wins and loses, you don’t understand our motivations at all. I keep telling Lotte this, and she doesn’t get it, may the gods bless her sexy ass. Let me ask you a question, you don’t have to answer it, I just want you to think it over. Why hasn’t Kalidah punished the Herkmen for losing so much? Championships equal power in this industry, so why hasn’t Kalidah ever ripped his green-faced goblins a new hole? Wins would be great, titles would be marvelous; Nizbel and Azalo have only won a couple titles, and I’d personally be over the moon if they could decorate their pit with a few more “shinies”. Some things are more important than wins. Some things are more important than titles. I’d love to tell your audience more, but that would be ruining the game.
LH: And what game would that be, Eli?
EB: The one you lost. You just lost the game. (Cackles)
LH: (long pause) Damn it, Eli! (laughs) Fine, don’t tell me. I guess that means I’ll have to tune in with everyone else this coming Monday for Pollo Road “Revival”. Eli, do you have time to stick around after the break? Since it’s May the 4th, I’d love to chat with you for a bit about Star Wars.
EB: Laura, you know I’d enjoy that a lot.
LH: Folks, we’ll be right back.
LH: The gentleman with me in the studio tonight is a veteran of the squared circle. It would take me nearly a full hour just to list all this man's accolades. He is a multiple time World Champion, who has wrestled on every continent, besides Antarctica. Outside the ring he's an accomplished actor, having featured roles in "The Batman Chronicles'', "Scavenger Hunt", "Tish: The Strongest Woman in the World" and "Madison Tower". He’s one of the co-founders of Buck U Productions, and the owner and proprietor of the infamous Hotel California. With no further ado, may I welcome Eli Buchanan to the podcast this evening.
EB: Thank you for having me on the show, Laura. Always a pleasure.
LH: You're very welcome, Eli. I hope you don't mind me calling your hotel "infamous"?
EB: (laughing) Not at all, Laura. As my father is fond of saying, it's better to be infamous than forgotten. Hotel California truly is such a lovely place, and it certainly has earned the reputation it's received, but enough about that. How are you?
LH: I'm well. How about yourself?
EB: Absolutely fantastic.
LH: That's great to hear. Now then, the reason for your appearance on the podcast tonight is to promote Pollo Road's event, dubbed “Revival”, in Windsor, Ontario, this coming Monday in Windsor, Ontario. Kalidah, who you are very familiar with, is teaming with The Herkmen to face off with your old rival, AJ Knight, along with Lynx and Orville Newton. Also on that card will be defences of both the PMLL Tag Team Titles and the Cruiserweight Title.
EB: Yes indeed, it's going to be an absolutely splendid event. I encourage anyone in the Windsor area to make sure not to miss it. I've been told there are still some tickets available, but they won't last long.
LH: That's good to know. Any predictions on the title matches? Pollo Road has yet to announce who The Punch Line will defend their Tag Team Titles against.
EB: I can honestly say I don't have the foggiest clue who the mystery challengers are, but I'll wager they'll be the crowd favourites for certain.
LH: You don't think the Punch Line will get any love in their backyard?
EB: (laughing) Take it from a proud Canadian, those knuckleheads are going to be less popular in Windsor than a Boston Bruins fan in Toronto.
Both of them laugh.
EB: Having said that, as much as it pains me to admit it, I do think The Punchline will retain.
LH: And what about the Cruiserweight Title Match?
EB: Both the champion, MEZA, and the challenger, Devlin Masters, are very capable competitors. It should be a good match, but MEZA will probably win.
LH: Probably?
EB: As long as he doesn't lose his head again and get himself disqualified. (chuckles)
LH: Sounds like you're throwing a bit of shade there, Eli. (laughs)
EB: All I'm saying, dear friend, is the boy is a bit of a hot head. He had his chance to fight Kalidah and he messed up. To paraphrase a line from an under-appreciated film: he has been weight, measured and absolutely found wanting. Don't get me wrong, I was a lot like him once, and I own my faults, but it doesn't matter how much of a fuss he make, Kalidah's moved on and has no interest in facing him again. MEZA needs to learn to deal with it and move on himself, otherwise this little obsession of his is going to destroy him.
LH: I would love to talk more about the situation between Kalidah and MEZA, but I really want to turn our focus towards the big six man tag team match. Again, it will be Kalidah and The Herkmen against AJ Knight, Lynx and Orville Newton. You and AJ have a storied history that goes all the way back to 2016 and he's arguably one of your greatest rivals.
EB: You left out the part about him being the one man who I've never truly best. (laughs)
LH: I wasn't going to point that fact out...
EB: (laughing) Laura, it's quite alright. You remember what I said about MEZA? That's how I feel about AJ. I hold one victory over him, which is forgotten by most people, and those who remember it attempt to make excuses on his behalf. "Oh he was injured." "He was in a bad place in his life at the time." It's funny, because when he fought me in a cage in 2017, no one was making excuses for me. No one pointed out how I had only wrestled half a dozen times since returning from what was supposed to be a career ending injury. No one cared to point out that I had hit rock bottom in my personal life: my wife had left me, my addictions were eating me alive and I was so mentally ill that within a few weeks of that match I nearly took my own life. That was all okay though, am I right? After all, I deserved all I got after what I put him through. (laughs) No, it's alright, Laura, I have no problem admitting what an absolute tit I was to him when I was his manager. What I did to force him into my employment was absolutely wrong, and if I could go back in time and undo it, I would, but perhaps that means that AJ Knight would be nothing more than a footnote on the history of this business. AJ practically had a foot out the door of Lions Road when I swooped in like a vulture to "save" his career.
LH: That’s a bold statement, Eli.
EB: Tell me if I’m lying, Laura? I’m pretty sure AJ wouldn’t if he was here. I say this without any pride, but I have been a necessary evil in the past. Pollomania wouldn’t have survived a year with out me and the Canadian Embassy Misfits; the American fans came out to see us get our comeuppance, which I suffered in spades and the Canadian fans came out in droves to cheer us. Hammerstein… (audibly chokes.) Hambone might never have become a multiple time World Champion if I hadn’t been a backstabbing friend… I’m sorry… I…
LH: (coughs) Hey, it’s alright. Let’s change the subject, slightly. You mentioned that you’ve only ever defeated AJ Knight once, but that’s not completely accurate. Kalidah has a victory over him as well. Some might call it tainted, but a win is a win.
EB: (chuckles softly) A win is a win, too true. Kalidah was a different beast back then, and so was I.
LH: Eli, what would it mean to you personally for Kalidah to get a “clean” victory over AJ. I know you consider Kalidah to be a different person than yourself, you and I have had this conversation before and we could talk an hour just on that, but a victory for Kalidah had to be considered a victory for you as well.
EB: (laughs) Laura, a “clean” victory over AJ would be marvelous, but if you think Kalidah and I are only focused on wins and loses, you don’t understand our motivations at all. I keep telling Lotte this, and she doesn’t get it, may the gods bless her sexy ass. Let me ask you a question, you don’t have to answer it, I just want you to think it over. Why hasn’t Kalidah punished the Herkmen for losing so much? Championships equal power in this industry, so why hasn’t Kalidah ever ripped his green-faced goblins a new hole? Wins would be great, titles would be marvelous; Nizbel and Azalo have only won a couple titles, and I’d personally be over the moon if they could decorate their pit with a few more “shinies”. Some things are more important than wins. Some things are more important than titles. I’d love to tell your audience more, but that would be ruining the game.
LH: And what game would that be, Eli?
EB: The one you lost. You just lost the game. (Cackles)
LH: (long pause) Damn it, Eli! (laughs) Fine, don’t tell me. I guess that means I’ll have to tune in with everyone else this coming Monday for Pollo Road “Revival”. Eli, do you have time to stick around after the break? Since it’s May the 4th, I’d love to chat with you for a bit about Star Wars.
EB: Laura, you know I’d enjoy that a lot.
LH: Folks, we’ll be right back.