Post by Office on Mar 18, 2023 0:40:36 GMT
SAM HEWITT
Hello fans and welcome to Pollo Road! I'm Sam Hewitt alongside the Purebred, Brian Shelzi and it's March 20th which means it's SPRING CHICKEN! We're already rolling here in Toronto as El Cerdo Mostaza and Glum are inside the ring awaiting the opening bell.
Indeed, the bell sounds and Glum stumbles up to El Cerdo Mostaza, which Brian Shelzi equates to liquid courage. The two men are right in each other's business, Cerdo mouthing him off before giving him a shove. Glum twists and turns around with a lariat! Given his size, 6'3" / 230lbs - it would be effective against most of the fighters on our roster... but big Mostaza just roars back at him and lariats the crap out of him himself! Glum goes down and his flask falls out of his attire. Glum tries to crawl to it, but Cerdo kicks it away and pulls him to his feet. He whips him into the ropes and on the return, Mostaza goes for a side slam but Glum attempts to rotate right out of it. The crowd gasps as Mostaza rolls with it and just drops Glum to the mat with a power slam instead! He hooks the leg!
1...
...
2-NO!
Irritated, Mostaza grabs him by his suspenders and yanks him to his feet... then lariats the laughter from his body! He covers again!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
Mostaza pushes off Glum's body and kicks him out of the way, snatching the microphone away from Mason Marvelle.
EL CERDO MOSTAZA
POP... *wheeze* CORN... YOU SUMBITCH! Where are ya?! Who's your man?!
Popcorn walks out, his own microphone in hand.
POPCORN POLLO
Senor, senor! Please calm down! Just like you, man, I am tired of all these games! You challenged me and si, I know, that's not a fair fight... but I thought you might like to pick on someone your own size...
"Three Pound Chicken Wing" by deadmau5 hits and out walks a large man: chicken mask, camo pants and black butcher apron.
BRIAN SHELZI
Longtime fans will remember this monster from Lion's Road! Six foot six, three hundred and one pound. He's by far the larges--
SAM HEWITT
Don't even.
BRIAN SHELZI
POLLO, you happy? Largest Pollo I've ever seen! Pollo Gigante! I should've known!
Mostaza can be heard yelling "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" before exiting the ring. He greets his same sized opponent in the aisle and the two begin brawling, Mostaza gets a knee up to double him over and grabs his wrist... pulling him for a lariat, but Gigante ducks and goes behind... DEEP FRIED DRIVER! Backdrop driver on the floor!
SAM HEWITT
...but Mostaza isn't staying down!
Indeed, Mostaza is dizzy and dazed but back on his feet. By now the security has emptied out to try and separate these two as Popcorn Pollo bounces up and down in agreement with the crowd - "let them fight!".
- COMMERCIAL BREAK -