Post by Roy Vezina on Jan 17, 2023 20:52:34 GMT
The scene slowly fades in, panning around a large classic library. Shelves upon shelves, filled with books, covering the span of three large walls. As the camera slowly moves around the massive volume of books, we turn to a large fireplace. With eloquent hand craved designs, this is a piece belonging to the fanciest of folks. As the fire roars within its heath, a large plush chair is seen, with a large man sitting in it. Wearing a fancy red bathrobe and smoking from a handcrafted wooden pipe, sits El Cerdo Mostaza.
Looking rather ravishing with his silk bathrobe and recently washed mask, El Cerdo is a man of high importance. Smirking at the camera, El Cerdo leans back, and flips open a book. Scanning through the pages, Mostaza begins to speak.
El Cerdo: Well, hello there, folks. I am El Cerdo Mostaza and this here is Story Time with El Cerdo Mostaza. Now this week, I am facing the feared and famous Red Tiger Lily, so I done did figured that I would pick a story that would be mighty fittin' for our upcoming fight. Now I know most of you have a very very low IQ and probably won't understand a word I am sayin' so I figured I do a little summarizin' for you, low breed beaver lovers.
El Cerdo chuckles to himself for insulting an entire country of people.
El Cerdo: Today, we are gonna be readin' an all time classic, The Jungle Book. This here is a story of a young fella who done did got left in the jungle and raised by wolves. My daddy's ex-wife was one hella of wolf, she had the face only Jesus could love but anyways. This kid, he was sitting pretty, doing his thing in the jungle when word got around that a big old tiger was out to get him. Now why would a tiger want this kid out of his land? Well, this here tiger, he was a brute. Big mean angry ugly son of a gun. See this tiger, Shere Khan, he reminds me of you, Tiger Lily. Much like you, this Khan fella was a big shot. Ruled the roost for a long while. A few tried to topple the big cat but they all went down when he flashed them claws and bared them teeth. After a bit, good old Shere Khan did some travelin'. Moved around, showed folks who was boss, ya know? Anyways, while he was out and about, this kid, well, he was makin' a name for himself in the jungle. He was man and them animals were mighty impressed with what man could do. Word got back to Shere Khan and he was mighty pissed. This was his jungle, dammit. No little punk was gonna move in on his territory, hell no.
El Cerdo leans forward, excited by the tale he is telling.
El Cerdo: So what does Khan do? He puffs out his chest and goes after that little bastard. He tears through the jungle, mad and on the hunt. No one was gonna stop him from getting that boy. Finally after all that chasing, Shere Khan comes face to face with the man cub and guess what? You'd imagine that a big scary tiger would easily carve that boy up like butter but that's not what done did happened. No sir, see the man cub was able to use a weapon against Shere Khan that literally brought the fearsome tiger to his grave. See the little fella was able to find fire and fire was something that Khan could not handle. Now, you are probably thinkin' what does this have to do with my match against the Red Tiger Lily, right?
El Cerdo smirks.
El Cerdo: Well much like Shere Khan, Red Tiger Lily has been sittin' on top of the mountain for a long damn time. He has been there and done that. Countless wins and title victories have landed on that there lap. Now, RTL has been king for a while and he's gotten mighty comfortable on the top of the pile. Some might even say he's gotten soft. It's good to be the king but you best be ready to defend your turf when a new challenger comes to stake claim. Now, I'm the new challenger and I am wielding the fire. I got the fire in my heart, burning me up. I want to be king and I want to sit on top of the mountain, laughing at all the fools as they struggle to be something more than the losers they are. I will be that fire that leads to your downfall, Tiger Lily. Much like the lightning in the Jungle Book that caused the fire, this Lightning Match between us will the reason to your demise, Red. When you and I step into that ring, much like the mighty Shere Khan, you will be facing your end. You best believe that.
Getting to his feet, El Cerdo casually tosses the book into the fireplace and smoke begins to pour out. Smirking, he walks away as the camera fades to black.
Looking rather ravishing with his silk bathrobe and recently washed mask, El Cerdo is a man of high importance. Smirking at the camera, El Cerdo leans back, and flips open a book. Scanning through the pages, Mostaza begins to speak.
El Cerdo: Well, hello there, folks. I am El Cerdo Mostaza and this here is Story Time with El Cerdo Mostaza. Now this week, I am facing the feared and famous Red Tiger Lily, so I done did figured that I would pick a story that would be mighty fittin' for our upcoming fight. Now I know most of you have a very very low IQ and probably won't understand a word I am sayin' so I figured I do a little summarizin' for you, low breed beaver lovers.
El Cerdo chuckles to himself for insulting an entire country of people.
El Cerdo: Today, we are gonna be readin' an all time classic, The Jungle Book. This here is a story of a young fella who done did got left in the jungle and raised by wolves. My daddy's ex-wife was one hella of wolf, she had the face only Jesus could love but anyways. This kid, he was sitting pretty, doing his thing in the jungle when word got around that a big old tiger was out to get him. Now why would a tiger want this kid out of his land? Well, this here tiger, he was a brute. Big mean angry ugly son of a gun. See this tiger, Shere Khan, he reminds me of you, Tiger Lily. Much like you, this Khan fella was a big shot. Ruled the roost for a long while. A few tried to topple the big cat but they all went down when he flashed them claws and bared them teeth. After a bit, good old Shere Khan did some travelin'. Moved around, showed folks who was boss, ya know? Anyways, while he was out and about, this kid, well, he was makin' a name for himself in the jungle. He was man and them animals were mighty impressed with what man could do. Word got back to Shere Khan and he was mighty pissed. This was his jungle, dammit. No little punk was gonna move in on his territory, hell no.
El Cerdo leans forward, excited by the tale he is telling.
El Cerdo: So what does Khan do? He puffs out his chest and goes after that little bastard. He tears through the jungle, mad and on the hunt. No one was gonna stop him from getting that boy. Finally after all that chasing, Shere Khan comes face to face with the man cub and guess what? You'd imagine that a big scary tiger would easily carve that boy up like butter but that's not what done did happened. No sir, see the man cub was able to use a weapon against Shere Khan that literally brought the fearsome tiger to his grave. See the little fella was able to find fire and fire was something that Khan could not handle. Now, you are probably thinkin' what does this have to do with my match against the Red Tiger Lily, right?
El Cerdo smirks.
El Cerdo: Well much like Shere Khan, Red Tiger Lily has been sittin' on top of the mountain for a long damn time. He has been there and done that. Countless wins and title victories have landed on that there lap. Now, RTL has been king for a while and he's gotten mighty comfortable on the top of the pile. Some might even say he's gotten soft. It's good to be the king but you best be ready to defend your turf when a new challenger comes to stake claim. Now, I'm the new challenger and I am wielding the fire. I got the fire in my heart, burning me up. I want to be king and I want to sit on top of the mountain, laughing at all the fools as they struggle to be something more than the losers they are. I will be that fire that leads to your downfall, Tiger Lily. Much like the lightning in the Jungle Book that caused the fire, this Lightning Match between us will the reason to your demise, Red. When you and I step into that ring, much like the mighty Shere Khan, you will be facing your end. You best believe that.
Getting to his feet, El Cerdo casually tosses the book into the fireplace and smoke begins to pour out. Smirking, he walks away as the camera fades to black.