Post by Roy Vezina on Dec 23, 2022 0:52:27 GMT
The cameras cut to backstage where we see the Pollo Road interview set with the bright lights and clean-cut logo plastered all over. Slightly off to the side, we can see the back half of a large man, much larger than most that we see here in the Pollo Road. While we don’t see his face, you clearly hear a very heavy Midwest accent and a mop of messy brown hair sitting on top of his head. From the tone of his voice, the big mystery man sounds irritated.
: God dammit Saul, what the hell am I doin’ here? You gotta explain this to me again, cause it makes no senses to me why I’m the one standing in the middle of Thunder Chops, Canada when I wasn’t the one who fired that goddamn manager from the Pollo Bucket. It was all Buck’s doin’!
We watch as the big man walks back and forth, never revealing his face, speaking to the unknown person on the phone.
: I get that, but why the hell would you negotiate a deal where I have to work for these morons and their crappy shoebox promotion? Shouldn’t it be Buck or Mack? And let’s not forget about this stupid mask they want me to wear?! I ain’t no damn luchador, Imma fighter. And did you double check that this name is what they said it is? You sure? The Slaughter Nightmare, right? I dunno, when I was gettin’ fitted for the mask, the lady kept laughin’ at me when I told her my name.
The mysterious newcomer listens and nods his head.
: I get that, Saul. I does. It just don’t make much sense why I have to be used for some promotional bull crap when I ain’t done nothin’ wrong. I was plenty polite to that manager at the Bucket. Sure sure. I gotta go. I’m doin’ an interview now. Alright, talk to ya soon.
With that, the large man clicks off his cell phone and can be seen fumbling around with a light blue and red mask. After a few minutes and gets the mask on and steps out in front of the interview set. Puffing out his chest, with a red cape draped over his shoulders, the masked man stares into the camera.
: Hola morons! It is I, El Cerdo Mostaza! For you uneducated, that translates to The Slaughter Nightmare in English (Editor’s Note: It does not). Now I am the greatest luchador in the world and being from the fine town of Tribune, Mexico, I have seen the very best and beaten them all! There ain’t no one who can stand toe to toe with me in that there ring and beat me. Just like…
El Cerdo Mostaza reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flash card and begins reading.
El Cerdo Mostaza: Just like you can’t beat the prices of the new Pollo Bucket value meals. Each meal comes with a delicious sandwich, some Pollo fries and a soft drink. Prices start at 6.99. Get them before they done run out.
Looking annoyed, El Cerdo shoves the flash card back into his pocket and growls into the camera.
El Cerdo Mostaza: I ain’t one sit here and talk, that’s for wimps. I’m a goddamn luchador. I fight. Any one who thinks they got a shot against me better pony up cause I have beaten a many of fools and taken their masks and shaved them’s hair. It’s time for you idiots in the stands to learn and fear the name of El Cerdo Mostaza! ¡cabra caliente (Editor’s Note: Not what he thinks it means)! Watch out, moron.
El Cerdo storms forward as the cameras cut to black.
: God dammit Saul, what the hell am I doin’ here? You gotta explain this to me again, cause it makes no senses to me why I’m the one standing in the middle of Thunder Chops, Canada when I wasn’t the one who fired that goddamn manager from the Pollo Bucket. It was all Buck’s doin’!We watch as the big man walks back and forth, never revealing his face, speaking to the unknown person on the phone.
: I get that, but why the hell would you negotiate a deal where I have to work for these morons and their crappy shoebox promotion? Shouldn’t it be Buck or Mack? And let’s not forget about this stupid mask they want me to wear?! I ain’t no damn luchador, Imma fighter. And did you double check that this name is what they said it is? You sure? The Slaughter Nightmare, right? I dunno, when I was gettin’ fitted for the mask, the lady kept laughin’ at me when I told her my name.The mysterious newcomer listens and nods his head.
: I get that, Saul. I does. It just don’t make much sense why I have to be used for some promotional bull crap when I ain’t done nothin’ wrong. I was plenty polite to that manager at the Bucket. Sure sure. I gotta go. I’m doin’ an interview now. Alright, talk to ya soon.With that, the large man clicks off his cell phone and can be seen fumbling around with a light blue and red mask. After a few minutes and gets the mask on and steps out in front of the interview set. Puffing out his chest, with a red cape draped over his shoulders, the masked man stares into the camera.
: Hola morons! It is I, El Cerdo Mostaza! For you uneducated, that translates to The Slaughter Nightmare in English (Editor’s Note: It does not). Now I am the greatest luchador in the world and being from the fine town of Tribune, Mexico, I have seen the very best and beaten them all! There ain’t no one who can stand toe to toe with me in that there ring and beat me. Just like…El Cerdo Mostaza reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flash card and begins reading.
El Cerdo Mostaza: Just like you can’t beat the prices of the new Pollo Bucket value meals. Each meal comes with a delicious sandwich, some Pollo fries and a soft drink. Prices start at 6.99. Get them before they done run out.
Looking annoyed, El Cerdo shoves the flash card back into his pocket and growls into the camera.
El Cerdo Mostaza: I ain’t one sit here and talk, that’s for wimps. I’m a goddamn luchador. I fight. Any one who thinks they got a shot against me better pony up cause I have beaten a many of fools and taken their masks and shaved them’s hair. It’s time for you idiots in the stands to learn and fear the name of El Cerdo Mostaza! ¡cabra caliente (Editor’s Note: Not what he thinks it means)! Watch out, moron.
El Cerdo storms forward as the cameras cut to black.